A funny thing happened to me last weekend... I was nesting.... lol... All weekend... not just on my usual bum around day of Saturday... but ALL WEEKEND!!! I could not understand it... I talked about it ... I was perplexed by it... I'm not giving birth...lol... and now it has come to me... I am letting go.... so I guess in a way ... I am giving birth...
In my struggles to release the past of it's hold on me... I discovered, through my nesting process, all the toxic emails and negotiations of the past... Why on earth had I saved that?! Why on earth did I move 2,000 with that?!... What an amazing amount of pain and negativity to carry around...
The answer is ... so I now can finally purge it in a way that will suit me... I am finally ready... Aside from the collection of paper work, I am purging whatever remaining jewelery, gifts, books I have... things that I thought had no connections, but have come to realize, just represent the sham and duplicity and pain...I am only keeping things that carry something "positive" ... things that are connected to joy... no longer am I "holding on" for the sake of "holding on"...
In the end... it comes down to this... After all this time.. I have finally forgiven myself ...It has taken 11 years and a 2,000 mile move (incredible!), but I am ready to "purge"... I don't need to "hold on" to "things"... Yes... I am at peace with reasons and the outcome...
The ritual is planned and I am finally ready...
Ahhhh... the joys of nesting! And I await that "new bundle of joy"!
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