I read that book last year... and it made quite an impact on me...The agreement about not taking anything personally especially resonated with me... I wondered ... "How does one Not take things personally?!" ... But now... I think I get it... If you operate from within my your own personal base... How people respond to you or don't respond really has no bearing on you... It does not mean that you are loved or not loved, a friend or not a friend... involved... or not... If you know ... in your heart and soul.. that you are doing your best... living the way you want...with your personal integrity and being the person you want to be ... if you can be happy and secure in that knowledge...then... all is good! Here is the kicker though.... that I just realized... If things change... I can only be responsible for me... LOL... I never got that before... If after all is said and done...if I have changed based on how others perceive or react to me... I'm only responsible for me... how I am...
For example...my relationship with my brother... I adore him... he's my baby brother... we are almost a decade apart... When I went off to college, he was still in elementary school... but ... we always had a bond... we were very close...I was there for him when his first marriage fell apart... and when I first realized that my marriage was going to fall apart... he was the only family member I reached out to... he sent me a ticket... and cared for me...
One of the reasons I felt I could make this move ... was that he would be here.. with his family... and I would have a "family" connection... That notion was quickly erased when I finally got here...
I have accepted that life has changed for him... that our relationship is different... but ... what is the consequence of that?...
well... what if I change how I reach out to him because of that? ... what am I responsible for? I feel ... I am responsible for just me... am I doing my best?...Yes... His change is not a reflection of me... It has nothing to do with me... It's about him... his life...his family... his stuff... I will continue to be me...
A friend asked me... "will things be the same between us?"... I answered ... "sure".... but that's not exactly true...I have been doing the same things I always did... The real answer maybe should have been... "If you want it to be"...for I will continue to be "me"....
As I look back to read what I wrote so many months ago... I realize what a hard thing it is... to not take things personally... but...what I also realize is that ... feelings will be hurt... there is no question about that .... it's really about ... how you recover... whether you "hold on to it"... or ... feel it... acknowledge it... nurture yourself... and then... Remember...
"Be your best"...
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